A long time coming....

Junebug is now almost 8 years old and I can see looking back that this has been a long time coming but for some reason I never wanted to except it.  I have always been judged on my parenting style and that has always been blamed for the way that Junebug acts.  It's always my fault. 

I have read so many books and tried so many parenting styles all to no avail.  So now, after his teacher's promting, Junebug went toeh psychologist for the first time.  She is fairly sure that he has ADHD but will test him this week to make sure and see how sever it is. 

I feel lost.  I don't know what to do.  She said I need to 'coach' him and stay calm and not get emotionally involved.  Yeah....ok....and how do I do that?  It's ok for the first half an hour or so but when this child runs out of the house screaming and crying and refuses to come back, how do you stay calm?  When this child refuses to listen, what do you do?

He will not listen, he will not do what he is told to do. It is a constant battle with him.  He has even started to hit me.  And when he hits it is hard.  Husband says I am just lowering myself to his level and acting like a child.  Uh, wtf?!  I am the mother, he should noramlly do what I say and have respect for me.  But he doesn't.  Instead of husband helping he just makes things for me, at least, worse.  I feel he is no help at all. 

An example from this morning...it is time for Junebug to go to the mosque.  Get out of bed, it's time to get up. No!  I'm not going!  Yes, you are. No! It is a struggle to get him dressed.  He refuses to let me get him dressed, he refuses to get himself dressed.  It results in my grabbing him and getting him dressed. Then he is out of bed and dressed, I tell him to go wash his face. No! I'm not going to!  After a few rounds of this, I just grab him by the arm and take him to bathroom.  I have to put one arm around both of him and use the other to wash him face, all the while he is still trying to hold my hand with his so I don't wash his face.  Then that is over, I dry his face and tell him to put on his shoes. No! So, again, take him by the arm, put on his shoes, then his jacket. The whole time he is whinnig that he is not going. Get his jacket on and he darts outside without his backpack. I have to go after him.  He refuses to stay still or come back to the house. I do not want or feel like chasing him. I wait til he walks back around and give him is his backpack. The neighbor from upstairs comes down at this time. (it is her turn to drive today) and asks what is going on.  She is my best friend and is aware of our 'issue'. I tell her he ran out the door and now will not listen as I need to tell him to give the teacher some money I have packed in his bag for a book. (he has his hands over his ears and is screaming la-la-la) She says, I'll talk to him you go home.  So, off they go.  I come back inside and can't help but cry.

Will things get better?  I pray it will.  I am trying sooo hard not to ask Allah why?  But it is really hard.